Archive for August, 2005

The Smarter White Meat

I know you’re probably going to find this hard to believe, especially those of you who write in every week seeking my advice on life’s really tough problems (Note to Marvin in Mobile: Yes, no, ask your doctor, I think that’s illegal in ALL 50 states, and no, not with a ten-foot pole), but I, Tim Knox, never went to college. To those of you who write in every week complaining that my frequent use of words like “y’all, yonder and ain’t,” is an affront to the English language and that I give southerners everywhere a bad name, I’m sure this comes as no surprise (Note to Doug in Dothan: You, sir, may still kiss my grits, college educated or not).

When I graduated from high school in 1978, college was the furthest thing from my mind. I had just been released from thirteen long years of educational purgatory and I was in no hurry to jump back into the fire. At eighteen, my priorities were as follows: do as little work as possible during the day, get as sloppy drunk as possible every night, and meet as many really cool chicks as possible along the way. My high school guidance counselor never bothered to tell me that the best place to do all of these things was at college. Instead, he just sort of chuckled at my grades and asked if I had considered a career in welding.

Besides, no one in my family had ever gone to college, so who was I to buck tradition? College, my old man was quick to point out, was for rich kids in trouble with the law and stupid people who didn’t have the smarts to make it on their own. Grand words of wisdom from a man who dropped out of school in the third grade to become a dirt farmer. I should have introduced him to my high school guidance counselor. Since they were the founding members of the “Let’s Screw Up Tim Knox’s Life With Lousy Advice” Club, I’m sure they would have gotten along famously.

A year or two out of high school I found myself hungover, broke and unemployed. That’s the only time I seriously thought about going to college (it seemed an easier prospect than having to sober up and find a real job). I stopped by the local university and met with a student advisor (think guidance counselor with zits). I was thinking about getting an English degree so I could teach small school children the proper use of words like “y’all, yonder and ain’t.” When I told the student advisor this, he just sort of chuckled at my aspirations and asked if I had considered a career in welding.

“Thanks, zitface,” I felt like saying. “Here’s your membership card. Welcome to the club. Help yourself to punch and cookies. Come on, I’ll introduce you to my old man.”

About the only thing I learned from that visit was that going to college required a lot of money, something I didn’t have. And this particular school’s motto was: “Coffum opus dia doe or scatum dia hades offum dia campii!” English translation: “If you can’t pay the tuition get the hell off this campus!”

I couldn’t, so I did. And now you know why I never went to college.

At least I didn’t waste eight years of my life getting a degree I never used. The guy who mows my lawn has a PhD in psychology. I guess he uses that $100,000 worth of advanced schooling to make sure my grass is “okay” with being cut.

Then there are those folks who collect college degrees like my sister collects Beanie Babies. I have a friend who has a Masters in electrical engineering, a Bachelors in computer science, and a Doctorate in mathematics. You know what he does for a living? Nothing, he’s too busy going to school.

I don’t feel so bad about ditching college when I hear of some of the things that are going on in our institutions of higher learning these days. Take the case of the Penn State professor who is trying to teach pigs how to communicate using a computer. That’s right, f-f-f-olks, I said pigs. And I’m not talking about ugly coeds, either.

Professor Stanley Curtis (a former student advisor, I’m sure) believes that pigs, like apes and some people from Michigan, can be taught to communicate with humans by using a form of computer sign language. Curtis, with all his college-tainted wisdom, thinks that pigs are much smarter than people think. I think Professor Curtis is one pork rind short of a full bag. Who wants to get email from a pig?

Here’s how the good professor summed it up to The Philadelphia Inquirer: “Pigs always have their eyes open for their next mouthful, so they are always surveying the environment. They are very alert, and if they see some food at a certain place, they have to figure out how to get to it.”

Is he talking about pigs or his fraternity brothers?

Curtis continued, “They (pigs) solve problems every day and they have the ability to discriminate, so it should come as no surprise that their intelligence is high.”

Solving problems, the ability to discriminate, high intelligence… hmm, I guess he is talking about pigs.

Curtis’ goal is to provide the best possible environment for pigs and other farm animals. If these pigs could communicate that they’re uncomfortable, unhappy, or hungry, he says, the farmer could then do whatever was necessary to make the pig’s life a little easier. This is where I get confused. What farmer in his right mind would want a bunch of whiny pigs running around the barnyard stirring up trouble? And what farmer would go to the trouble of making a pig’s life easier when he knows that said pig is going to be on the next train to Baconville? This is like giving death row inmates Dr. Sholes pads to put in their shoes so their feet don’t hurt while they’re walking to the gas chamber.

You don’t need a college degree to figure out that this is the dumbest idea since the invention of low fat bologna. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be able to communicate with pigs. I’m not a heartless person. I don’t want to think that the pig that gave its life for my morning bacon spent its last moments sitting at a computer terminal frantically typing out, “PLEASE DON’T KILL AND EAT ME!! I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! PLEASE!!”

Let’s put the professor’s computer sign language to work with animals we don’t eat. I’d love for my dog to be able to tell me what the hell he’s barking at at three in the morning. And I’d really like to know what my cat has to be so uppity about.

Besides, what could a pig really have to say that’s worth hearing? Unless it’s, “Hey buddy, have you considered a career in welding?”

Th-th-th-th-at’s all, folks.

Tim Knox
Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, Radio Host
Check Out Tim’s New Radio Show! =>

The Account of - Guadalupe and Little Coyote ((A True Story) (In English and Spanish))

Advance: No one noticed her in particular disembark the airplane in Tijuana, Mexico, in the unanimous night, no one saw her sister either, to speak of, they simply sunk into the multitude of people, but in a few hours, days and months, things would be different. She, I should say they, came from the south, that is, South America, Peru, from Huancayo, a small city in the Andes, to Lima Peru, and now as you know, they are in Tijuana. This is a true story, the names of the real persons involved are not going to be mentioned here but the names they chose to use on this drama adventure, I will share, Guadalupe, was the name she picked out, and her sister, Rosario.

(The Story:) Here they both lived for two months (in the house of the Little Coyote), their objective, and the premise of this short story is simple, both wanted the benefits the United States had to offer them: two women from Peru, seeking a new life in America, and their struggles to get from Huancayo, Peru to Portland, Oregon (let no one thing, it was easy).

The year is 1998. Normally the fees involved to fix an escort from South to America can range from $3000 dollars a piece (per individual), to $30,000-dollars depending on what part of South America you are coming from, and your connections, trying to get into America illegally. Mexicans of course do not wish to pay these horrendous fees, but do not mind collecting them to bring their neighbors across, and in the process many things can happen, rape, robbery, even murder, and this story you are about to read involves all three of them.

She, Guadalupe knew this city was the place required for her invincible intent, the place where she had to succeed, yet two months went by. Her obligation was to insure the folks on the way would get paid; this was done by phone, via, Portland, Oregon, to Mexico, and San Diego, California. The money was guaranteed, if indeed these two women were delivered to their family members.

Once in Tijuana, she was introduced to Little Coyote, her Mexican representative. She was given a new Passport, and Little Coyote was to be her husband, Guadalupe was twenty-eight years old at the time, had two children in Peru, a husband (or future husband, mother of her two children, for she is married now) who tried to make it to the United States, but was captured and turned back at the Mexican boarder. Thus, it was her turn to try.

And so in a car, and through the gate, Guadalupe and Little Coyote drove, Guadalupe a foot taller than her pretend husband, it felt odd for her, so she told me, but it was as it was, her new protector, respectfully, and once they got to where they were suppose to be going, and handed over to relatives, it would cost $3000 per person, $6000 total.

She felt a chill of fear, as they drove through the gates of Mexico to the country of opportunity; now in an unfamiliar city as she was and dependent on the good will, and consciousness of Little Coyote. She waited in San Diego for her sister, they were previously separated, as planned and now would be reunited; thus, once across the boarder, she found out it was not impossible to cross the supernatural boundary lines between the land of less and the land of plenty.

And accordingly, she felt this was halfway to her destination, unhindered thus far, and reunited with her sister, as I have just mentioned. It suited her quite well, and in the process (with twenty other migrates) Little Coyote offered them, or provided I should say, some frugal needs, food in particular. She noticed the Mexicans were eating out of their hands, and she asked for a fork (not the thing to do), and they looked at her as if she was asking for the moon, and consequently she passively accepted their style of eating, and ate out of her hands likewise.

The former group, and she and her sister, were brought to a house in San Diego, a new Coyote’s house, as Little Coyote had to leave and return to Mexico, for his next group. Here six of them had to fit into a compartment or platform underneath the car, where she had to push her nose close to a hole for air, and a fat Mexican next to her, was intoxicating with her smelly armpits. Nonetheless, she survived, as I would not be able to write this account, had she not.

As she arrived to the second location in San Diego, a house with two Coyotes waiting for the six individuals, she dismissed the vast illusory bodies that cramped and kept here like a sardine in the compartment of the car. She was happy to get out of there, although it was necessary, for there were immigration officials along the road they had to pass over to get to the second location in the city. Here things would change drastically.

In this new location, they were told they’d have to stay a while, perhaps four days, because no one came to pick them up. Matter of fact, their family members were in Portland, and to the understanding of the two Coyotes, they didn’t know were Portland was, but once finding out, they put the two girls into an isolated room, with bared windows, as a result, there would be no escape. Nonetheless, a catastrophe was building up, in that, throughout the day, the Evil Coyote, fought with the so called Good Coyote, over the two girls, he wanted to rape one, if not both. All day long this intolerable lucidity of insomnia fell upon the two girls, who found out there, was no escape from the room, and that their family members in Portland were reluctant to come to their rescue, in San Diego, lest they be captured for being illegal immigrant’s themselves, and a crazy Mexican outside their doors.

Guadalupe could hear them swear, that is curse at one another, and as night had fallen into early morning, it being 2: 00 AM things would change again.

Prior to this, the Evil Coyote was pounding on the door of the girls, trying to get in. And then the harsh pounding stopped, at which time the girl’s hearts started throbbing for the unknown was bleak at best, then a silenced came about. Next, another knock on the girls door sounded, a softer knock this time, it was the Good Coyote, “Come, come quick…!” he said to the two girls, carrying a sack outside to his car. He was exhausted, and as the two girls got into the car, they noticed a body lying by the sidewalk; it looked like the Evil Coyote.

“We are going to Las Vegas,” said the Good Coyote, there you can take a bus to Portland. And so they drove all that night.

Once in Las Vegas, the Good Coyote, he deliberately gave his black bag (sack) to Guadalupe to carry (as he went to clean up, after buying himself some cloths, and some shoes and cloths for the girls); then she, Guadalupe put her hand into the black bag, as he was changing she discovered it was a gun, and she quickly dropped it back down into the sack, aghast at what she had discovered; alas, she had left her fingerprints on the gun.

Guadalupe made a phone call to Portland, telling her folks, the Good Coyote had paid their fair on the Greyhound bus, to Portland, and they’d be there shortly. Prior to this, the Good Coyote had asked them if they had any money, Guadalupe did, she had $200-dollars, but said “No, we are broke…!” Well, that is the Peruvian way is it not. Anyhow, the Good Coyote (Mexican by Birth) perhaps was not as good as we’d like him to be, he took the $60,000 dollars that he and his partner had collected in San Diego, for the twenty or so clients they had taken across the boarder. So he was of course far from being broke himself.

(The innumerable variables Guadalupe had to endure were not over yet, a most difficult task still resided in the future over this drama, and unwinding of events.)

Once in Portland, neither of the girls could find a job for three months, and so that was not a good start, but her family provided, as often Peruvian families do. And in due time, they both did find a job.

It was shortly after she got her job, the mysteries of the murder that took place in San Diego, made it to the steps of the house, the house Guadalupe and her sister was living in. The police, Federal Agents knocked on their door, and gradually, the door was opened. It was to her surprise, the agents knew her full name, real name, and almost everything she knew about herself, they knew. What they really wanted though (the Agents) was cooperation, and so both Rosario and Guadalupe gave them as much as they could, and wanted, lest they be facing murder charges, thus, the Good Coyote was not as good as he tried to pretend.

After a certain amount of time, and movies on the two girl’s testimony on what took place in San Diego, the Good Coyote was picked up, and put into prison. And the Girls got a nice letter from the Federal Government, and a work permit.

In conclusion, this short sage of Guadalupe is but one story of many who come over the boarders of America to find a better life. I do not support the Mexicans phantom approach that they should be given rights to the American Dream, or as I refer to them as abnormal privileges, simply because they escaped from their country to ours, and in many cases, these adventures end up in rudeness, if not death along the way, but of course, not without a certain forewarning.

SPANISH VERSION

El Reporte de:
Guadalupe y el “Coyotito”

(Una Historia Verdadera Sobre el Cruce de la Frontera de los Estados Unidos)
(Escrito 24-Junio-2007)

Avance: Nadie en particular la notó desembarcar del avión en Tijuana, México, en la noche sombría, tampoco nadie vio a su hermana; es decir, ellas simplemente se hundieron en la multitud de la gente, pero en unas pocas horas, días y meses, las cosas serían diferentes. Ella, o debería decir ellas, venían del sur, es decir de Sudamérica, Perú, desde Huancayo, una pequeña ciudad en Los Andes, a Lima Perú, y ahora como lo sabes, ellas están en Tijuana. Esta es una historia verdadera, los nombres de las verdaderas personas involucradas no van a ser mencionados aquí, pero los nombres que ellas eligieron para usar en esta aventura de drama, lo compartiré: Guadalupe, era el nombre que ella eligió, y su hermana, Rosario.

(La Historia:) Aquí—en Tijuana—ambas vivieron durante dos meses (en la casa del “Coyotito”), su objetivo, y la premisa de esta historia son simples, ambas querían los beneficios que Estados Unidos tenía para ofrecerles: dos mujeres de Perú, buscando una nueva vida en Norteamérica, y sus luchas para llegar desde Huancayo, Perú a Portland, Oregon (que nadie piense que fue fácil).

Era el año de 1998. Normalmente los honorarios implicados para fijar una escolta desde Suramérica a Norteamérica pueden ser desde 3000 dólares americanos por persona hasta 30,000 dólares americanos, dependiendo de qué parte de Suramérica vienes y de tus conexiones tratando de entrar en Norteamérica ilegalmente. Los mexicanos desde luego no desean pagar estos honorarios horrendos, pero no les importar recaudarlos para llevar a sus vecinos a través de las fronteras, y en el proceso muchas cosas pueden pasar, violación, robo, aún asesinato, y esta historia que estás a punto de leer implica todas las tres cosas.

Ella, Guadalupe sabía que esta ciudad era el lugar requerido para su intención invencible, el lugar donde ella tendría éxito, pero aún dos meses tuvieron que pasar. Su obligación era asegurar que las personas que le harían pasar la frontera serían pagadas; esta coordinación fue hecha por teléfono, vía, Pórtland (Oregon), a México, y San Diego (California). El dinero fue garantizado, si de verdad estas dos mujeres serían entregadas a sus familiares.

Una vez en Tijuana, le presentaron a “Coyotito”, quien sería su representante mexicano. Le dieron un nuevo pasaporte, y el “Coyotito” sería su esposo, Guadalupe tenía veintiocho años entonces, tenía dos hijos en Perú y un esposo (o futuro esposo, quien trató de cruzar la frontera de Estados Unidos, pero fue capturado y devuelto a México) Así que, éste era su turno para intentarlo.

Y así en un carro, y por la puerta, Guadalupe y el “Coyotito” se transportaron, Guadalupe era treinta centímetros más alta que su supuesto esposo, ella se sintió rara, eso ella me dijo, pero era como era, con mucho respecto era su nuevo protector, y una vez que ellas llegaran a donde se suponía tenían que llegar y entregadas a sus parientes, esto costaría 3000 dólares americanos por persona, en total 6000 dólares.

Ella sintió un escalofrío de miedo, mientras ellos condujeron por las puertas de México al país de las oportunidades; ahora en una ciudad desconocida mientras ella dependía de la buena voluntad y conciencia del “Coyotito”. Ella esperó en San Diego por su hermana, ellas habían sido separadas antes, tal como fue previsto y ahora serían reunidas; así, una vez que cruzaron la frontera, ella descubrió que no era imposible cruzar las fronteras sobrenaturales entre la tierra de menos y la tierra de abundancia.

Y como corresponde, ella sintió que estaba en la mitad de su destino, libre hasta ahora y reunida con su hermana, como acabo de mencionar. Esto la satisfizo mucho, y en el proceso (con veinte otros inmigrantes) el “Coyotito” les ofreció, o les proveyó, debería decir, algunas necesidades frugales, comida en particular. Ella notó que los mexicanos comían con sus manos sin cubiertos, pero ella pidió un tenedor (fue un error), ellos la miraron como si ella estaba pidiendo la luna, y consiguientemente ella pasivamente aceptó su estilo de comer, y comió con sus manos como ellos.

Ella y su hermana con un grupo anterior, fueron traídas a una casa en San Diego, la casa de un nuevo “Coyote”, mientras que el “Coyotito” tuvo que marcharse y volver a México para traer su siguiente grupo. Aquí seis de ellos tuvieron que caber en un compartimiento o plataforma debajo del auto, donde ella tuvo que poner su nariz cerca de un agujero por aire, porque al lado de ella había una mexicana gorda que casi la asfixia con sus axilas malolientes. Sin embargo, ella sobrevivió, como que no sería capaz de escribir este reporte, si ella no sobrevivía, ¿no?

Mientras llegaban a la segunda ubicación en San Diego, una casa con dos “Coyotes” que esperan por los seis individuos, ella se libró de los enormes cuerpos que apretados fueron mantenidos como sardinas en el compartimiento del auto. Ella estaba feliz de salir de allí, aunque fue necesario, porque había funcionarios de inmigración a lo largo del camino que ellos tuvieron que recorrer para llegar a la segunda ubicación en la ciudad. Aquí las cosas cambiarían drásticamente.

En este nuevo local en San Diego, les dijeron a ellas que tendrían que quedarse por un tiempo, quizás cuatro días, porque nadie había venido a recogerlas. En realidad sus miembros familiares estaban en Portland, y según los dos “Coyotes”, ellos no sabían dónde quedaba Portland, pero una vez que lo averiguaron (a 1,502 kilómetros de distancia), ellos pusieron a las dos muchachas en un cuarto aislado, que tenía ventanas con barras de metal, por consiguiente, no habría ninguna fuga. Con todo, una catástrofe se iba construyendo. En el transcurso del día, el “Coyote Malo”, peleó con el supuesto “Coyote Bueno”, sobre las dos muchachas, en el sentido de que el “Coyote Malo” quería violar a una, o talvez a ambas. Todo el día esta lucidez intolerable de insomnio cayó sobre las dos muchachas, que encontraron que no había ninguna posibilidad de escape del cuarto y de saber que sus miembros familiares en Portland estaban poco dispuestos a venir en su rescate, hasta San Diego, por temor a ser capturados ellos mismos por ser inmigrantes ilegales también, y un mexicano loco afuera de sus puertas.

Guadalupe podía oírlos hablar malas palabras, es decir maldiciéndose uno al otro, y mientras había caído las primeras horas de la mañana, serían las 2 de la madrugada, las cosas cambiarían de nuevo.

Antes de esto, el “Coyote Malo” estaba golpeando la puerta del cuarto de las muchachas, tratando de entrar. Y luego los fuertes golpes a la puerta se detuvieron, en aquel momento los corazones de las muchachas comenzaron a palpitar por lo desconocido que era desolador a lo mucho, luego vino un silencio. Después, sonó otro golpe en la puerta del cuarto de las muchachas, un golpe más suave esta vez, era el “Coyote Bueno”, “¡Vengan, vengan… rápido!” les dijo a las dos muchachas, llevando un saco negro afuera a su carro. Él estaba agotado, y mientras que las dos muchachas entraban en el carro, ellas notaron un cuerpo inerte por la acera; este se parecía al “Coyote Malo”.

“Estamos yendo a Las Vegas”, dijo el “Coyote Bueno”, allí ustedes pueden tomar un autobús a Portland. Y entonces ellos condujeron toda esa noche.
Una vez en Las Vegas el “Coyote Bueno” deliberadamente le dio su bolso negro a Guadalupe para que le ayudara a llevar (mientras él iba a asearse, después de comprar ropa para él mismo, y algunos zapatos y ropas para las muchachas); entonces ella, Guadalupe puso su mano en el bolso negro y descubrió que había un arma, ella rápidamente lo soltó de vuelta en la bolsa negra, horrorizada por lo que ella había descubierto; ¡ay!, pero ella había dejado sus huellas digitales en el arma.

Guadalupe hizo una llamada telefónica a Portland, diciéndole a su familia que el “Coyote Bueno” había pagado su pasaje en el autobús “Greyhound” a Portland, y ellas estarían allí dentro de poco. Antes de esto, el Coyote Bueno les había preguntado si ellas tenían algo de dinero; Guadalupe tenía, ella tenía doscientos dólares, pero dijo “¡No, estamos en la quiebra…!” Bueno esa es la forma peruana, ¿no? De todos modos, el “Coyote Bueno” (mexicano de nacimiento) quizás no era tan bueno como nos gustaría que él fuera, él había tomado los 60,000 dólares que él y su compañero habían recolectado en San Diego por los veinte y tanto clientes que ellos habían llevado a través de la frontera. Entonces él estaba desde luego muy lejos de estar en la quiebra el mismo.

(Las innumerables variables que Guadalupe tuvo que aguantar no habían terminado aún, la tarea más difícil todavía residía en el futuro sobre este drama y el desenrollo de acontecimientos)
Una vez en Portland, ninguna de las dos muchachas pudo encontrar un trabajo durante tres meses, de modo que no fue un buen comienzo, pero su familia proveyó, como a menudo lo hacen las familias peruanas. Y a su debido tiempo, ambas encontraron un trabajo.

Fue poco tiempo después de que ella consiguió trabajo, que los misterios del asesinato que ocurrió en San Diego, hizo sus pasos a la casa, a la casa en que Guadalupe y de su hermana vivían. Los Agentes Federales de la policía, tocaron a su puerta, y gradualmente, la puerta fue abriéndose. Fue para su sorpresa, que los agentes sabían su nombre completo, su verdadero nombre, y casi todo que ella sabía de si misma, ellos lo sabían. Lo que ellos realmente querían (los Agentes) era cooperación, y por eso ambas, Rosario y Guadalupe, cooperaron al máximo, por temor a ser acusadas de asesinato; así, el “Coyote Bueno” no era tan bueno como él trató de fingir.

Después de cierto tiempo, y de películas con el testimonio de las dos muchachas sobre lo que ocurrió en San Diego, el “Coyote Bueno” fue capturado y puesto en prisión. Y las muchachas consiguieron una bonita carta del Gobierno Federal, y un permiso de trabajo.

See Dennis’ web site: dennissiluk.tripod.com dennissiluk.tripod.com

The Account of: Guadalupe and Little Coyote
(A True Story on Cross the American Boarder)

(Written 6-24-2007)

188 Stage Hero’s Journey - Monomyth - Exile As A Form Of Push

The Hero’s Journey (Monomyth) is the template upon which the vast majority of successful stories and Hollywood blockbusters are based upon. In fact, ALL of the hundreds of Hollywood movies we have deconstructed (see URL below) are based on this 188 stage template.

Understanding this template is a priority for story or screenwriters. This is the template you must master if you are to succeed in the craft.

[The terminology is most often metaphoric and applies to all successful stories and screenplays, from The Godfather (1972) to Brokeback Mountain (2006) to Annie Hall (1977) to Lord of the Rings (2003) to Drugstore Cowboy (1989) to Thelma and Louise (1991) to Apocalypse Now (1979)].

There Is Only One Story

The Hero’s Journey:

a) Attempts to tap into unconscious expectations the audience has regarding what a story is and how it should be told.

b) Gives the writer more structural elements than simply three or four acts, plot points, mid point and so on.

c) Gives you a tangible process for building and releasing dissonance (establishing and achieving catharses, of which there are usually four).

…..further details at www.clickok.co.uk

Abridged Tips And Examples:

*****Exile*****

Sometimes the Hero is simply banished or exiled from his Old World and arrives in a New World in which he will undergo his Transformation. In Platoon (1986), Taylor simply arrives in Vietnam. In Dead Poets Society (1989), the boys simply are at their new school.

In such situations, it is made explicit that the Hero is a Fish out of Water. In Platoon (1986), Taylor arrives as a rookie. In Dead Poets Society (1989), it is the first day of school.

*****Inner Challenge Demonstrated*****

Post the Physical Separation and before the Trials, the Inner Challenge is demonstrated. In Bonnie and Clyde (1967), Clyde tries to make love to Bonnie, but he doesn’t know how.

Learn more…

WRITE THAT SCREENPLAY!

The Complete 188 stage Hero’s Journey and other story structure templates can be found at clickok.co.uk/ clickok.co.uk/

The Managing Creativity and Innovation MBA dissertation, DIY creativity Audit, Powerpoint presentation and Good Idea generator software can be found at managing-creativity.com/ managing-creativity.com/

You can also receive a regular, free newsletter by entering your email address at this site.

Kal Bishop, MBA

**********************************

You are free to reproduce this article as long as no changes are made, the author’s name is retained and the link to our site URL remains active.

Audio Effects-Noise Gate & Flange

Continuing the audio effects series, again, we all know of audio effects and what they generally are supposed to do. They are used to manipulate audio in ways that are not available with traditional playing and recording techniques. If you’re like me, and enjoy dabbling in audio production, you’re probably familiar with all the basic effects and maybe some other types. Noise gate will be one of the topics of discussion today. Noise gate, what the heck is that? If that was your first reaction, you’re not alone. Please don’t worry; we will be demystifying this subject later on in the article. We will also be discussing flange, which is a more standard and widely used audio effect. So, in today’s article we will be discussing both noise gate and flange effects, how they work and why they work the way they do.

Noise Gate
Basically, noise gate is a device or software logic that is used to manage the volume of an audio signal, in recording studios and in sound reinforcement. They are also used by musicians, in a portable form, to control amplification noise. At its most simple form it controls noise by only allowing sound to pass through it at a certain set threshold. Think of it as a literal gate; when the gate is open sound can pass, when the gate is closed no signal is allowed through. More robust noise gate units have extra controls, I.E. attack, sustain, decay, release. This is so that you can further control the gating of your audio. Say you’d like to have the gate applied in a hard fashion, you would set a short attack and a short release, so on and so forth. Noise gates are often used to isolate background noise from live recordings in order to eliminate them from the final copy.

Flange
Flange is related to the phasing effect produced by a, well, phaser effects unit. It is produced when two identical signals are mixed together, with one of the signals time-delayed by a small and gradually changing amount. The amount is usually equal to or less than 20 milliseconds. Peaks and notches are produced in the combined frequency spectrum, related in a linear harmonic series. Part of the output signal is fed back in and resonates, intensifying the peaks and notches. This effect was originally generated with 3 three headed tape machines. Two of the tape machines would play the signal, obviously somewhat out of synch, and the third tape machine would record the output. The modern version of the effect is created using DSP (digital signal processing) technology.

This is the second part in my continuing series on audio effects. Today we discussed noise gate and flange, we’ll be moving on some more advanced effects later on. I hope that this helped you all understand the basic functionality of these two effects, ultimately making your next foray into audio editing a bit less intimidating.

Jason Cole and DiskFaktory Mastering offer great

Put Me Out Of My Misery

Jesus please come quickly
Put me out of my misery
I don’t know every intricacy
Neither the full detail
Of what makes me be
However the status quo
Greatly discourages me
If you could uplift me kindly
Above, up, and out of this
I don’t care to remain in it
I wish not to name it
I certainly can’t deny it
I have often confronted it
Tried repeatedly to resolve it
Lived graciously through it
Received counsel about it
Prayed for miracles for it
Endeavored to turn it
In my heart scorned it
Silently endured it
Patiently bore it
Been run over by it
Could not quiet it
Can’t contain it
Tried not to quit
Believed the best about it
Yet I no longer can tolerate it
Therefore I invite your Presence
To boldly come impact and impart
Birth for me a brand new start
By Christ the resurrection
Bring to me some of heaven
Remove the vile, poison leaven
That corrupts and contaminates
Hinders me from walking straight
Thwarts my tenderness toward you
Makes me mean in all I say and do
Distorts what I know to be true
Precipitates nasty arguments too
God please do what you can do
Enlighten my darkness with light
Shine forth brilliant and bright
Relieve stress and tension tight
Visit me with power and might
Illuminate and provide insight
Get me through the darkest night
The depth of despair and plight
Cruel and cantankerous like a cobra
Send a wise mediator like Oprah
By the cross of Christ reconcile
Remove bitterness that does defile
Heal my heart so I won’t revile
Give me love unconditionally
Both for me and those most needy
Send your Holy Spirit’s anesthesia
To numb my pain inwardly
Restore my joy wholeheartedly
Turn my misery into victory
So I can arise triumphantly
To tirelessly help humanity
But now most importantly
Deliver me from my misery
Every fatal foe and calamity.

Paul Davis is a life purpose and love coach (professional & relational), worldwide minister, change master, and FL real estate agent.

Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; Are You Ready for True Love; Stop Lusting & Start Living; Waves of God; Supernatural Fire; Poems that Propel the Planet; and God vs. Religion.

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has served in many war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His Dream-Maker Inc. is building dreams, breaking limitations & reviving nations.

Paul’s Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Contact Paul to minister, speak at your event or for life coaching:

mailto:RevivingNations@yahoo.com RevivingNations@yahoo.com, 407-284-1705.

DreamMakerMinistries.com DreamMakerMinistries.com

CreativeCommunications.TV CreativeCommunications.TV

Fostering Your Bet In Poker

There are many types of poker games, each with its own set of rules and regulations. Knowledge the different rules for the different types of poker games is essential, but the primary conceptions will apply to every type of game.

These include knowing when to fold, construct, check, how to spot eight-card stud saies, ETC.

Allegedly poker is a game of chance, there are skills you can soak up to improve your game. Knowing what to do in certain situations is dangerous to your playing a irreproachable game. When to take up is one of these skills.

Raising methods and means that the currently placed bet is made exceeding than the one preceding it, which forces all consecutive actresses to call the new advance. If the precursory bet amount is absence of heat, this is considered the opening bet of the game. When a spear carrier makes the second or a subsequent build of a play round, it is often referred to as a re-raise. This does not include the open bet.

Those of you not familiar with the latest on Raising Your Bet In A Straight face Strategic plan now have at least a underlying knowledge. But there’s besides to near.

Disallow in the case of a live blind, you may not raise the hip bet suggestion if you did not beforehand set it. If it is your turn to act, and you are the player who first set the bet amount, the betting round is in executive session and no further shot may take place. This can occur when all other players have in general alias the general submission or folded. The continuing players will have bet an equal flat out* amount, except for rare cases that are covered by table pull out rules.

A universal command in casinos in the United States, and one by that very fact is often adhered to in home games as well, is that any raise must at least likeness the proposal of the previous one. For instance, if a ham* in a spread limit or no limit working plan bets $5.00, the next player may hold up actually bet by different $5.00 or as well, but may not raise by solely $2.00, even if trial so would otherwise keep to the toss of the coin structure of the strategic plan.

The primary purpose of the truism is to take care a game delay caused by “vexation” raises, which are small raises of adequate bets which do not affect the overall bet pass much, but that take unnecessary time.

This precedent is usually overridden by table leave rules. This enables a impersonator to raise a $5.00 bet by $2.00 if that $2.00 is his or her remaining stake.

So when do you raise your bet? You may decide to lever your bet if you know you have a good hand and feel confident it may be the best. Some players raise their bets if they know one or more of their favorites are kidding, but it is not often advisable to make this reconciliation by depending strictly on stud Poker tells.

Learn the rules of the game you are stooging* and work to further develop your stuff*. Doing this will help you set.

Sometimes it’s tough to assort out all the details related to this subject, but I’m out-and-out* you’ll corner no failure making sense of the information presented above..

Gert is the web owner of globalbiz4you.com 888casino Play United a website that provides information and resources on Online Gambling.

How Long Will My Digital Prints Last?

The question in the title of this article would be much easier to answer if you took
the word “digital” out of it. Color photographic printing has been relatively
unchanged since its debut, and you can expect those prints to last up to 100 years
if stored properly. [And by properly, I mean away from light in a consistently cool
environment without extreme highs or lows in humidity levels.]

But anyone who hasn’t been living in a cave the last five years knows that digital
photography is rapidly taking over traditional film processes. It’s time to ask some
tough questions about what that means for the lifespan of your treasured family
photographs.

Manufacturer’s claims. You’re shopping in your favorite office supply
superstore and pick up a box of glossy paper for your ink jet printer. The box says
it will last 104 years. But how accurate is that claim?

Independent, third party testing. Thank goodness for Henry Wilhelm. His
company, Wilhelm Imaging Research, conducts research on the stability and
preservation of traditional and digital color photographs and motion pictures.

Brand matters. I’m not a “brand loyalty at any cost” kinda gal, but in this
situation brand really does matter. Manufacturer X designed their paper and inks to
work together, and it’s in your best interest to use them the way they were
designed. Wilhelm’s testing has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that cheap inks
fade more rapidly. So while it’s OK to use them for short-term documents, but it’s
the wrong choice for photographs you’d like future generations to enjoy.

Inkjet vs. traditional prints. “When properly stored, dyebased inkjet and
dye diffusion thermal transfer prints have stability comparable to that of traditional
photographic prints.” But ink jet prints are more vulnerable to certain kinds of
damage:

Water damage. According to tests, traditional photographic prints are
fairly stable in water. Some types of digital prints are completely destroyed when
they become wet, while some are more water-resistant. Dye-based ink jet images,
for example, showed serious damage after even a brief immersion in water.

Pollution. Airborne elements such as ozone can cause some colors to
fade very rapidly. Some ink jet prints had this color shift problem less than a month
after printing. Photos encased in frames are less susceptible to damage from
pollution. Use use glass or inert plastic that is specially manufactured to block
damaging UV rays.

Personally, I’ve decided to skip the ink-jet altogether. I had some not-so-great
experiences with printing my own photos (and cutting them out - ick) before I
started researching ink jet longevity. Now, I upload digital photos to my trusted
local photo processor. The web interface is quick and painless, the prices are
reasonable, and I pick up my prints on my way home from work.

One final word of advice: Stay away from quickie one hour shops because
that rapid turnaround time doesn’t always allow for proper rinsing. Residual
chemicals (no surprise) will cause prints and film to degrade more quickly. I also
noticed once that a popular online printer (they like to flood my in box with free
print offers) charged extra for trusted paper brands like Kodak. Hmmm… Something
to think about.

Still have questions? Send email queries to Ask the Archivist:
ask@jacobsarchival.com

—————–

About the Author: Sally Jacobs has a Master’s Degree in Library Science
with a Specialization in Archives Management from the University of Wisconsin-
Madison. She has worked on collections at the Library of Congress, the Wisconsin
Historical Society, the Chicago Chapter of the American Red Cross, and many family
collections just like yours. She teaches non-archivists how to organize,
preserve and share their treasured memories.

Did you like these tips? Would you like to receive FREE articles
like this one every month? Get your very own subscription to our free Ask the
Archivist e-zine! Subscribe online [ jacobsarchival.com jacobsarchival.com] or send a blank
email to: mailto:subscribe@jacobsarchival.com subscribe@jacobsarchival.com

Top 10 Mistakes in Online Poker

1. Feeling Entitled to a Win with Premium Pairs like AA, KK, and QQ.

I know, it’s hard to ever let go of these hands, but to be a skillful player, you have to detach yourself from the emotional aspect of getting a big pocket pair. What you really have to bear in mind is that you have a pair, that is all. Granted, it’s a very good pair, but your biggest advantage here is primarily a pre-flop advantage. Especially in situations where you get two or more callers pre-flop, you are likely to be in severe trouble if you don’t have the discipline to lay these down when the post flop situation warrants it.

2. Overplaying Small and Medium Pairs

Medium Pairs - I’m not sure what kind of value people think they are getting when they re raise and shove a bunch of chips in pre-flop with hands like pocket 7s through pocket 9’s, or even pocket 10’s, at a full table against more than one raiser. It’s fine to be aggressive since as a general rule, you want to be the raiser instead of the caller, but you just have to be cautious and they are by far some of the trickiest hands to play.

Small Pairs - If you’ve ever run hands like 22, 33, or 44 through a calculator like PokerStove, you can understand the abysmal odds of playing these hands too aggressively. Against a random hand, you are only slightly better than 50% to win.

3. Not Playing AQ for Maximum Value

AQ is a monster shorthanded, but it’s generally a somewhat weak hand at a full table. I generally don’t even like playing AQ from early position. This may sound very tight, but if I’m playing a weaker hand from early position, I’d often rather be playing suited connectors than AQ. If I raise in early position with AQ and face heavy action, I’m usually dumping it, especially if unsuited. It’s just a much weaker hand than most people think when facing heavy preflop betting.

4. Betting The River With Marginal Hands

This mistake is made over and over again and I fail to understand it. As a general rule, it only makes logical sense to be betting the river with hands you can’t possibly win without a bet, or hands where you hope to get called by a worse hand. I see it all the time where people will bet the river with middle or bottom pair. What could you possibly be hoping to accomplish? You are only likely to get called by a better hand unless someone thinks your bluffing and they decide to call you down with a high card, which is usually not going to be the case. You are rarely going to get any value betting marginal hands on the river. If you have a marginal hand, just check it down. If your opponent bets, you can then decide if the situation warrants a call or not.

5. Poorly Chosen Bluffs and Continuation Bets

I’ll start with continuation bets here. Too many people waste a bunch of money feeling as if they have to continuation bet every single time they are the pre-flop aggressor. Good players will always pick up on this and punish you for it. It’s a waste of chips and is far better to mix it up a little bit.

Bluffs – At lower limits, people bluff way too much in my opinion. It’s often not necessary and many of the players are just unbluffable. I’ve done it way too many times myself against people I have no business bluffing because they will call me down with just about any pair.

6. Ax – The Silent Killer

I don’t even know where to start with the subject of playing weak aces like A9 and lower, especially unsuited. These hands are mostly garbage in my opinion. People tend to fall in love with their aces. Throwing these hands away most of the time has saved many a dent in my pocketbook. The problem is, even if you hit an ace, you are very likely to be dominated by a better ace and can be in big trouble post-flop because it is so hard to let it go.

8. Not Picking Your Battles with the Right Players

Being observant of other players is an extremely integral part of the game. Most people don’t fully put this into practice though and get way too aggressive with the wrong players. When you want to be aggressive against someone in a tournament, sit and go, or cash game, you should really be running through a checklist of who is likely to experience the most pain by calling your raise.

9. Slow playing Big Hands and Overbetting Weak Ones

I know it’s natural to want to keep people in the hand when you have a made hand and slow play it. However, you are going to extract a lot more money over the long run if you play your weak hands and bluffs the exact same way you play the monsters.

10. Underestimating the Value of Position

I know you’ve probably heard this many times before, but it’s worth saying again. Position, position, position. Your position at the table is of utmost importance in NL hold’em. When you’re last to act pre-flop and in subsequent betting rounds, you will save a ton of money when you’re beat, gain more when you have great hands, you have more control over the size of the pot, and are putting your opponent in an uncomfortable situation.

If you are making these mistakes over and over again, get even more strategies for avoiding these pitfalls at crushthetables.com crushthetables.com.

ESL Role-Play

Learning a language is a complex and long process as anyone
who has tried will agree. One of the most difficult and
frustrating things is making the transition from the
classroom to the ‘real’ world. In the classroom, everyone
knows you are a student and mistakes are allowed, and the
environment is contained and safe. Speaking another language
outside the classroom is completely different and often
students are lost at sea as soon as they step outside the
door. Lists of memorized vocabulary are suddenly useless
when ordering in a restaurant.

Role-plays, or simulations are one of the ways ESL
instructors can ease students’ transition into using
English in real world situations. A simulation is where
students act out a real-life situation, for example
checking into at a hotel, but do not act out a different
personality. Role-plays are where students take on
different personalities. In a role-play, for example, one
student may be asked to take on the role of “an angry
neighbor” which is out of character for the student.

Role-plays require more imagination by students and teacher
and can be difficult to manage because they are
unpredictable. The initial scenario develops from the
students interacting with each other and can literally go
in any direction. This gives students practice in a
non-threatening environment, and gives the motivation and
involvement where they have to think in English. Role-plays
are interesting, memorable and engaging, and students
retain the material they have learned. In their assumed
role, students drop their shyness and other personality and
cultural inhibitions, making them one of the best tools
available for teaching a second language.

Here are a few pointers and suggestions to assist ESL
teachers using and managing role-plays:

-The more engaging the better. The value of role-plays
come from students immersing themselves in the material. -
Choose a ‘hot’ topic and stage a debate. Assign students
positions on the topic (for/against). This will get students

out of their personality and into the role where they do
not have the same inhibitions. - Preparation is very
important to success. Give students ‘personality cards’
which sketch out their personal characteristics or scenario.
Divide students into groups and give them time to sketch
out various scenarios, and go over extra or special
vocabulary ask them to discuss how they will act, think
about the character and plan what they will say. For
example, what are possible responses/replies for the angry
neighbor? - The teacher, as facilitator of the role-play
must support students in their role, i.e. they ‘are’ in the
backyard arguing over the fence. Don’t do anything to
interrupt the pretend environment. Leave grammar correction
to the end. Correcting students in the middle of an argument
interrupts the pretend environment. Make notes and do a
debriefing after. - Exaggeration is good! Encourage
students to exaggerate their actions, opinions and
movements. Exaggeration helps students immerse themselves in

the role. - Stage a rehearsal first. Have students
practice their role in small groups with coaching from the
other students. - While the role-play or debate is in
progress, have other students suggest vocabulary first, and
act as backup if they do not know.

Role-plays are unpredictable which makes them both a
valuable learning tool and at the same time difficult to
manage. Sketch out the various routes the role-play can
take from the initial scenario. This will give you some
idea what to expect and avoid any surprises.

Suggested topics for role-plays:

- Lovers problems (He has to move away to get a new and
better job) Spending money (Government, United Nations
etc. spending money, who gets what)

- Traveling (where would you go? what would you do?)

- Debates on current affairs/politics. Extreme opinions or
opinions at the opposite ends of the spectrum work well (i.e. left
wing/right wing etc.)

Role-plays can range from 30 minutes or one hour to a year-long
corporate simulation for business English. Staging role-plays can
be challenging for an instructor, but is also great fun. After you
have done a few, you will know what to expect and feel more
confident.

My experience is students love them retain what they learn, and
often leave the classroom laughing and still arguing all the way
out of the building!

George and Daisy Stocker have traveled the world teaching
ESL to children and adults. Their website, efl-esl.com efl-esl.com
offers ESL curriculum, activities, an online forum for ESL teachers and students, plus a free newsletter for ESL teachers. Their second site, esl-storybooks.com esl-storybooks.com offers storybooks and ESL curriculum for children.

How Do We Find Geniuses in Our Society Both Young and Old?

All civilizations have had their geniuses and almost any book on any era of history or culture will show several standouts and notables. Today with the Internet we might be able to find geniuses by their MySpace.com personal sites, thru their online social networks or super intellectual students in school. But how can we find the older geniuses that time or society has all but forgotten?

Did you know that those who grew up during times of civil unrest periods, war periods and such in their personal development maybe a clue to genius? In fact all these are major factors of when these people passed thru those time periods in their growing years. In one particular scientific paper Professor Dean Simonton PhD eludes to the fact that in the “final years” there is a burst of creative genius productivity in many senior adults, so why waste it.

Consider if you will the new paradigm of senior living and gated communities. Perhaps you have a Sun City that is not too far away and you know those gated communities really run things and could easily help us search their groupings too. Is it possible to enlist the creative genius to solve the gravest and most serious considerations of our civilization?

Could we use a multi-tiered search, both Web Based and in Gated Communities to locate genius of our present period both young and old? I bet it might extend the life of some of these folks, by keeping their minds active and a sense of purpose in retirement? People are living longer these days and we could sure use their wisdom, experience and insight?

Indeed we seem to be slipping a bit and we need more geniuses out there to help the human race into the future periods. We must continue to seek wisdom from these geniuses amongst us to propel the species. Perhaps this article might also propel thought into 2007.

“Lance Winslow” - Online WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/ Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance in the Online Think Tank and solve the problems of the World; WorldThinkTank.net www.WorldThinkTank.net/

Next Page »

wp